A Glass of Water

WILL GEORGE

I filled a glass of water to the brim, and then carefully walked to my bedroom and rested the glass on the bedside table. I lay on the bed and stared at the brand new bottle of five hundred generic aspirin, the bottle of Sine Off and the allergy medication. It was not much to work with, but I figured it would do the trick. 
I hadn’t prayed in about six months, so I figured now would be a good time. God and I had been strangers since the end of my sophomore year. Somewhere in my own anger, I decided there was no meaning. It was all nothing, a big black void. Since there was no God, why should I care? Why should I be nice? What difference did it make if I cursed? 
My junior year of high school should have been better. I was on the varsity cross country team, but lost to teammates I had beaten last year. I trained hard over the summer, but my job with the Natural Resources department, coupled with the training, had taken its toll. My legs just didn’t have their natural speed. Things weren’t coming together. And there was this girl I didn’t have the nerve to ask out. I hated my shyness; I hated myself. I couldn’t live with myself. I said quietly, “God, I am sorry. When I am dead, I hope you’ll forgive me.” 
I popped some Sine Off pills into my mouth. I opened the aspirin, took out the cotton, and poured a handful into my right hand. The sharp bitter taste almost made me gag. I quickly drank a large swig of water to wash them down. They dissolved into a pasty sour soup. I picked up the glass and gulped more water, lay down, and waited. 
My curtains were open, and an elm tree stood outside the window. Most of its autumn leaves were dead and withered on the grass below. The remaining brown and dull yellow leaves hung onto the tree. Slowly the light faded and the tree disappeared into the dark. The glowing red numbers on the clock showed an hour had passed, and I felt no different. I turned on the bedside lamp, opened the aspirin bottle and poured out another handful, and finished off the water. The wretched taste. I got some more water and repeated the same procedure, except this time I added the allergy pills.
Time went by. I felt groggy, but it was not working. Dying was not quick. I decided I needed to finish the whole bottle, but the taste made me retch so badly I had to spit some out, and I was out of water again. I needed water.

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